To trust or not to trust?

This is a dilemma faced by almost everyone at some stage in their lives. If only there was some kind of instrument like a baramoter that could gauge the sincerity level in a person and one could adjust their trust meter accordingly...

Science tells us that each one of us has a natural instinct for survival, we can smell the danger or maybe feel it in the pit of our stomach. Some people even have symbolic dreams warning them of danger.

Alternatively, faith tells us to keep on believing in God and in our heart... for He is present in all pure hearts. So we start that first step towards trust and learn to let go. Shunning our doubts and taking that giant leap of faith, because it feels so ' good' 'just right'. For those who are lucky to have their trust honoured it is a re-affirmation of the world's beauty, the power of their heart and faith.

There are others who after a while feel like thunder has struck them and their self esteem and faith all comes crashing down. Where did I go wrong? What happened? They keep on hearing this broken record in their heads. Sometimes paralysed for life, unable to recover or at the least being cynical of every new encounter.

Is this fair? Why is it like that with some people? Are they too trusting or are they stupid? Or are they simply the unfortunate ones who have been cheated and robbed of their innocence. People say such people can hear the alarm bells but they choose to be oblivious and this is why they get hurt. They have ignored the signs and so they must pay the price.

To trust or not to trust? Is it really that simple to discern?

What I learnt about love

I often think about love. Many would say what does that mean?? Have heard of people falling in love and being thrown into a whirlwind of emotions that makes the whole word spin around one particular person. Yes, this is not about spiritual love or the love you have for your family and friends. That's different. I am talking about the love between a man and woman, Adam and Eve. I have found love to be a very magical surreal experience, so I often contemplate what it really means in the real world.

Coming from a fairly conservative middle class family in Pakistan, I know some people would look at me with raised eyebrows, infact even some of my family may even do that. Its not right for a woman to talk about love. That will sound so ridiculous to people in the west but that is how it is.

Like every normal woman I admit I have been in love, in fact fallen in and out of it too.... loll.. I can laugh about it now but it definitely was not a nice feeling, I mean the falling out part. But this is not about me, its rather about my perceptions of love.

The heady feeling, the racing of the heart beat, the agonizing wait for a phone call, meeting or e-mail. The excitement and freedom of expression when you can actually find someone who reciprocates equally, singing out loud in the car, humming away as you work on your weekly report ....it seems that love fills you with boundless energy. When you are happy, you are just swayed away in the clouds with a feeling that you have conquered the world.

Here are some stanzas from a poem for you, that reflects this lovely feeling to some extent.

I am your butterfly

You make me dance and fly like a butterfly
Twittering about, humming the song of love
My colourful wings soaking the sun
Getting brighter with your love my hun...

You make me alive
You make me feel
You make me beautiful
You are the treasure that makes me full.....


But then the euphoria doesn't last for ever. Wouldn't it be just great if it really could. We have to get off cloud nine and land on earth..shucks!! but no, why should I be a cynic and scorn all the great lovers of time. Romeo and Juliet, Shireen Farhad, Laila Majnu are just some of them.

The most essential element in any love story is the extent of sacrifice you are willing to give for your loved one. Unless you can put your own needs behind the wishes of whom you love, you really are not in love. But then, interestingly if someone really loves you they will never test you that way. Hmmmm... an important lesson to keep in mind.

This brings me to that state of love that is often called an illness of the brain. I definitely don't think its an illness but I do believe it can sometimes be an illusion. This happens when you start trusting and loving someone who really does not deserve it, but then you are so blinded with your emotions that you shun the voice that comes from yr own head and just believe what you want to believe. This can be dangerous if not checked on time. So, the best thing is to share your feelings with people you can rely on, yr family and friends who with time have proven that they are sincere to you. Listen to them, sometimes the truth can get ugly.

What a totally un-romantic turn this post has taken. I still have no conclusions, except that once I used to believe that you need to be cool minded even in love. Isn't that just ridiculous!! Love and cool..totally opposite. I wonder what happened back then to make me form this opinion....hmmmm

But really unless you take that risk and leap into that calling from your heart, you can never feel the exhilaration that humankind has been writing about for centuries. Love can never be a planned activity, you just have to learn to let go and have faith.

Wishing you all many joyful times with your loved ones.

Cheers!!