Travellers

The journey of life is filled with numerous fellow travellers we meet along the way. Familiar faces and  routine  become such an important fabric of life. As I think of my daily companions, I recall the quick hello with the elderly lady who walks her two dogs early every morning as I wait for the bus, there is the look of familiarity with the station master and the guards whom I see everyday and am able to recognise them even if I see them without their uniforms in another place, the exchange of regular emails from an old friend who shares her pains and struggles in life  as a single mom looking after her two kids while battling with the scars of an ugly divorce, the small talk with the fitness instructor at the gym where ladies of all shapes , sizes  and  ages are using physical exercise as a means to deal with their own separate issues....the exchange of witty updates on facebook between friends you have never met in life and probably will never meet...all these people though insignificant in their individual capacity make up a very important part of my life.

They add colour to the otherwise routine chores, the work, the complexity of relationships, the struggles and triumphs of life. How significant are all these fellow travellers, sometimes they provide the sanity that you need to get through the bad days. It takes just a familiar smile or the odd comment on facebook that lifts your spirits or diverts your thoughts to an angle you didn’t consider before.

This thought once again makes me realise that after all it’s the little things in life that really keep you together . The friendship you counted on for years can simply fade into a distant memory, the bonds that you make in love can suddenly fire up and die their own course, the people who share their stories with you can just move by when they find a new meaning to life. People come and go. Some like to just savour the companionship and stay in touch for whatever their need is at that time. Some exchange meaningful words under the cover of jest and silently watch for a response, while some people are persistent and loyal and can make you feel special..and with them all the other travellers fill in the gaps to help you stay grounded to real life.

As I further divulge into this thought, I realise it's not these nameless travellers who are providing me the sanity, its actually the fact that all these people actually make me count the numerous blessings I have come to take for granted. The exchange of pleasantries with strangers reminds me what a beautiful race God has created. We are human, we care for each other and feel connected even while silently standing in a queue. I am thankful for the blessing of health so I can travel independently, for my work that gives me confidence and provides me livelihood and for my family and friends who add value by making me a part of their lives.

If you have been too busy with work, family or any other matter...just take a few seconds to take in the environment around you. The very nature of life.. good or bad, happy or sad should be a reminder that you are alive and there is so much to be thankful for.

My fellow travellers I wish you a lovely jpurney....

A sad truth

http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/video/video.php?v=1249317633474

Donate generously for Pakistan Floods

http://www.pakistanfloods-sha.blogspot.com/

From Bankstown Pressure Cooks to Bankstown Bites

I had never thought I would find fame in the land 'Downunder' which is so painfully far from my beloved home country. It's not like I have become some sort of a celebrity, but I am certainly proud of the fact that I was asked to do a cooking demonstration from the Pakistani culture in front of a live audience at a well atended local Annual event.                                                                  Bankstown Bites is an Annual event organised by the local council to promote the cultural diversity of this Sydney suburb that has a wonderful mix of people from all around the world. The event promotes Bankstown as the ultimate Food centre of Sydney. It gives a chance for local businesses to showcase their wares and delight people with the authentic and rich tastes of the predominantly Mediterranean and Asian cultures. The invitation from the lovely Cathy did not come much of a surprise to me. I had worked with Cathy in the Bankstown Pressure Cooks(BPC) event. Cathy now manages the Growing Communities Project at a very respectable NGO. Last month she invited me to present my views of my experience at the BPC with the staff of her organisation and at the same time asked me how I felt about doing a cooking demo on stage. Her argument was that, its a very unique form of food and not many people are aware of it. Also, the cook book with all the recipes from the BPC project will be launched the same day and it would be great to have one of the recipes deomostrated.

Now assisting in the background and acting as a Cultural Adviser with some share in the limelight as a judge is one thing, but actually doing a live cooking demo alongside some well known celebrity chefs is another. My heart fluttered for a while, but the strong patriotic spirit soon kicked in  to this wonderful opportunity to represent Pakistan in a positive manner  and I  accepted the honour.

Cathy was delighted. In an ensuing e-mail she wrote to me, "I've been liaising with the organisers of Bankstown Bites, they are very enthusiastic about you being on stage in your sari, preparing the Dahi Vade."

Now this is where I had to clarify, 'By the way, I won't be wearing a 'sari'... :) I will wear a Shalwar Kameez which is what I wore to the BPC sessions earlier. That is Pakistan's national dress. I know ppl often get confused with Indian and Pakistani culture and cuisine. The reason I agreed to become a Pakistani Cultural Adviser was to help dispel that misconception. I have nothing against India, but I would like to take this opportunity to promote the positive image of Pakistan. Not many people know about my country and they often mix it up with either India or the Muslim fanaticism in Afghanistan.."

I just thought I should clarify this so the organisers are also not under some misconception. Cathy was gracious enough to respond, " Thank you for letting me know the facts about the Shalwar Kameez - it's very important to me also, that we get the cultural nuances right."

This is just a case in point. Unfortunately, the only mention of Pakistan in the international media is related to unfortunate bomb attacks and most of the people actually think most of us are extreme fanatics who live in the 18th century...This is what saddens me most.

Yes, Our cricket team is popular too even though they have been constantly aced by the Aussies in recent matches... but that's a positive light too.

Australia has proven to be a country that absorbs different cultures and most of the people I have met are very helplful and friendly. Infact, its interesting to hear comments from Caucasian background  " I wish I had some ethnic background. I sound so boring.."

So on 31st of July, yours truly will try to win hearts of the general masses through the sumptuous preparation and sampling of the tasty Dahi baras.My dahi bara recipe has also been included in the Bankstown Pressure Cooks Cook book that will be launched the same day. So yes, it is an exciting day for me.

I get shivers of excitement as I think of it.

Will write more after the event. I am sure I will have lots to share then.


Cheers!

On Communicating

Hi all,

I have started a new blog thread on Communication. Go to http://sha-oncommunicating.blogspot.com/ to read my recent posts.

See you there :)

The Beloved Enemy- Part 2

“ What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” asked Sarah. She was at work and had just received a call from Angelo. “ Nickie beat me up and asked me to get out of the house.” “ This is too much. What does he think of himself? Ok, why don’t you go to your friend’s home and come back in the evening when I get home. I can’t leave work now.” This was so upsetting. Nickie had been acting up, throwing tantrums and finding an excuse to harass them at home.


Last week when Sarah reached home, she found everything was dark. All the light bulbs had been removed. Nickie was at home and when she asked him what happened, he calmly said “I bought them with my money so I took them out. You do not care about me.”

Then heating up the food she discovered it had been laced with too much salt and was not fit to eat. This time Nickie’s reason was that she did not cook well. It was things like these that were driving her crazy. And now beating up his own little brother. She was furious and upset, dreading going home but she braced herself for it.

She found Angelo at the gate waiting for her. He was distraught and she felt that sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach. They lived in a large house. The ground floor was rented out and Sarah’s family lived on the first floor. The locks had been changed so she could not use her keys. She rang the door bell but there was no answer. She kept on ringing and Nickie finally appeared in the balcony yelling at her to leave his home. “ This is our home too. What’s got into you? Open up.” But Nickie just made an angry face and went back inside. It was so embarrassing standing like this in front of your own home.

It was pathetic. Both sister and brother were forced to sit outside as the evening got darker. Then a neighbour came by. He was an elderly person and had been witnessing Nickie’s moods for some time. He told Sarah she should call the police as her brother was acting in an insane manner. A few more people gathered and there was some commotion outside. On hearing this ruckus, Nickie came out and put up an apologetic face in front of the neighbour.” I am angry with them because they have stolen my papers.” Sarah and Angelo had no clue  what he was talking about.

But at least the door was open and they went it. The neighbour followed in. Mr. Gray had known the family for many years. He was a good friend of their father too, hence he was almost like family. He scolded Nickie on his behaviour and told him not to be so harsh. Nickie kept blaming his siblings for stealing his documents. He was referring to his degrees and passport. Sarah knew this was just another one of his tricks. He changed his attitude only after hearing about the police.

Mr. Gray soon left. She and Angelo went straight to her room and locked themselves in. They had started doing this lately as they did not feel safe at home. Angelo told her the same, that Nickie could not find some papers and he beat him up and told him to leave home. They just sat together in grief, upset not knowing what to do.



It was useless calling other family members, no one could talk any sense into Nickie. He was too volatile and had his own logic. The only thing they could do was stay out of his way.

A few days later there was a wedding in the family. After a long time, Sarah got an opportunity to relax and decided to stay over at her cousin’s place. Angelo was with her too and Nickie didn’t attend. On returning home, she was feeling a little refreshed from the change. It was Sunday and she opened her wardrobe to take out clothes for next day. And out tumbled her cheque book. It’s leaves were burnt...Sarah just broke down in tears. She had tried to be patient with Nickie but still her brother kept tormenting her like this.

One thing was clear that he detested her role in the family. Nickie didn’t like the fact that she was working and was also running the house. The rent money was used for basic home expenses and Nickie kept asking her to give an account of each penny that was spent. Sarah did that to maintain peace. She was also using her own money to meet expenses but Nickie didn’t appreciate anything. He hated her for exposing his weakness in front of others.

The issue that Sarah understood was that he felt he was the man of the house and should have a say in everything that happens. But due to his own attitude, he could not get the same place so he hated Sarah for managing things. Sarah would have been happy to handover the responsibilities to Nickie, but he was not interested in that. He resented her for being the elder person whom everyone came to after their parent’s death. She tried her best to pacify him by encouraging him in his job, and letting him manage the home budget but that was not enough for Nickie. And now he had started being critical of her friends, her work ..infact anything she did.

Nickie had actually developed a double personality. He would be hateful at home but very sweet with others. To hide his own weaknesses he would badmouth his siblings in front of other relatives. Since he had the free time he would often visit them and share his woes. As a result, people had a very different view of him and always felt sorry for him and believed it. Sarah and Angelo were busy in their work and studies. Angelo helped with home chores while his elder brother just created a fiasco whenever he got a chance.

Anytime Sarah would seek assistance from the extended family, they would just question her about the false stories that Nickie was feeding them. Nickie had become a pain to his own family but remained a well behaved, young man in front of others..

To be continued

The ban on Burqa

http://www.smh.com.au/multimedia/opinion/the-burqa-ban-debate/20100520-vm3h.html

Australia is the latest country to join in the western outcry of ban against Burqa. Burqa is the attire conservative/staunch Muslim women wear when they go out in public. The idea is to protect themselves from unwanted attention and let them feel secure in the outside world. This may seem ridiculous to many people but that is their cultural value. Unlike the popular misconception that it is a means of oppressing women, it is actually something that dignifies a woman in the Islamic society.

I agree with the lawyer in the video, that if the real concern is about the oppression of women then the concern has to be shown in a manner that shows intention of understanding the values behind it. In Islam, women are considered precious. A woman is allowed to dress as she pleases, adorn herself and satisfy her vanity but only in front of people that matter- her husband and her family. While the Burqa is more of a cultural significance, the colour, shape, cut varying in different countries the basic ruling is to dress modestly. The idea is that a woman should value her own dignity and present herself in a manner that befits a lady of high morale and character. By adorning the burqa, the Muslim woman exercises her right to dress according to her religious and cultural values. She feels safe and protected. Not to mention the convenience of a Burqa. A quick  slip-in and she is ready to go anywhere without much worry of how her hair look like or what kind of dress or shoes she is wearing.

For the clarity of my non-Muslim readers I would just like to mention that while Islam specifies modest, loose clothing that covers a woman's body and hides her curves.  There is no specification of the need to cover the face.  This is something that has evolved with time by religious groups who feel they want to prevent any kind of interaction with males and decide to cover their face as well. This is again a cultural and social phenomenon. Although a headcover is recommended as hair are seen to be the most attractive feature of a woman. Mostly, burqas, veils and hijaabs are also an emulation of the way the prophet's wives dressed and it is a way to show their love for these ladies.

Also, many modern Muslim women adorn the head scarf with western clothing as it is symbolic of their religion. Hence, even in the Islamic world you will find variations. There are also many Muslim women like me who neither wear the hijaab or the burqa, because I feel I dress modestly and can carry myself with dignity without these accessories. Although as a Muslim, I feel it would be better if I start the 'purdah'. Purdah is the concept of totally hiding yourself from the view of other Males. But, so far I have not felt that need to exclude myself in this way and find it more practical to dress like an average person who draws no attention.

Maybe the black burqas stir some kind of fear in the mind of the ignorant, but just remember this woman is only exercising her right to dress as she feels like it. It's not fair to judge anyone by your own moral standards. If the west believe in 'Flaunting it if you have got it' most of the Muslim women believe flaunting only leads to more social evils and they are happy to maintain their decorum and only share their beauty with people who matter. I actually find it quite ironic that the 'headscarf' draws so much criticism and outcry. I wonder why these people do not point fingers at the attire of nuns in the Catholic church, whose attire is very much like a burqa- A nuns dress is also loose clothing that covers them from head to toe.

The burqa should not be seen as a symbol of Islamic extremism. I feel Islam is becoming synonymous with paranoi in the western minds. For this, I take some responsibility and apologize for the heinous acts performed by a small group of morons in the name of Islam. These people are not only enemies of non-muslims but also a big scar on the face of Islam.

I would also like to plead to the western media to stop exploiting issues by presenting only half truths. Its important to see both sides of the coin before passing any judgements.

For any other clarifications, feel free to post your questions here. Although I am no Muslim cleric I will try to give you a balanced view of the peaceful Muslim majority.

Muhammad - The Prophet

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nuZ1jmoj_KI

In the name of Freedom....A response to the Facebook page

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l96PuC8iUTYFreedom of speech indeed, what a sham!! The recent attack on Muslims by a seemingly innocent drawing competition has mocked the meaning of freedom of speech. " Everybody Draw Muhammad Day' was posted as an event on Facebook. It called out to everyone to draw caricatures of the Holy Prophet who is held dear by Muslims all over the world.

Once again the biased international media chose to stay quiet on this issue. Even though thousands of protests were launched all over the globe, there was no mention of it. Until, they got the images they wanted. The image of some radical Muslims burning the US flag and condemning Facebook was posted on CNN and other news channels almost a week after the event began. It was celebrated on 20th May and gave people a chance to ridicule Muslims by posting demeaning paintings of the prophet.

The event was boycotted by thousands of Muslims all over the world and some Muslim countries placed a ban on Facebook and  You Tube with limited access to Wikipedia. While, as a Muslim I salute this stand I am also concerned that the mischief mongers are successful in their mission. Through provocation they rejoice in bringing out the emotional out bursts and continue to deface Muslims as intolerant maniacs.

People criticise the extremism in Islam, all Muslims criticise that too. Has it ever occured to anyone why this sudden rise of extremism in the last 2 decades? I am not supporting the terrorist activities but if you see your own family being maimed, your house blown up, yr city ravaged by foreigners then do u expect ppl to remain sane. This is the true cause of terrorism, the fear, the hatred that has been thrown upon oppressed ppl in Iraq, Afghanistan that is what is coming back to haunt you. Not Islam. 

Since when did slander of character become a symbol of freedom of speech? Why is freedom of speech used as a tool to make racist comments and hurt people's feelings? Is this what freedom means to you???!!

You people know nothing about the religion or the man who brought it to us. Most of the ppl in this group are brainwashed by the media. There are all kinds of terrorists, some of them are Muslims but not all Muslims are terrorists.

What you are doing in the name of free speech is spread more hatred and fear, and why ?? what have you got to prove? what are you proving by this stupid game? If someone abuses you, your family or your friends are u ready to accept it as free speech???

Hypocrites!
The media is just interested in showing the half truth and that is the reality. There is no such thing as freedom of speech.
The reality is that what you ppl call terrorist organisations are the product of the western victimisation . Dig deeper and you will know why people act in such fearless manner. Why is it that they are able to overcome the natural fear of death and ready to blow themslves up for their cause?

I am totally against these suicidal bombings and all terrorist activities. Islam strongly condemns the blood of any human being. It is the planned persecution of superpowers, the half truths of the international media that is working on defacing the Muslims.

We as Muslims respect all faiths. All prophets who came before Muhammad are dear to us. We will never ridicule anyone by drawing caricatures of Jesus,Virgin Mary or Bhagwan or Buddha.

Religion is a personal thing, we respect your faith all we ask is you respect ours. There are radicals everywhere, in every religion and state , question is what do you have to gain by provoking them? Is this ego gratification worth it?
In the end all I can say is,

You may insult me and my faith, you may feel you
have the power to undermine the people I hold dear, yes I am hurt, angry
and sad but I still pray God shows you the right path. I feel sorry for
your insecurity that leads you to gain pleasure through ridicule. I
pray for you and wish you peace as that is what Muhammad has taught his
followers to do.

The Beloved Enemy- Part 1

It was one of those stressful days at work. Deadlines, deadlines... and so many of them. Sarah had been coming home late for the past one week and now it was getting to her. Then walking into the lounge, she got totally flustered when she saw her brother Nickie sleeping on the couch with the TV on at full volume. He had not even bothered to open the curtains since morning. This threw Sarah into a rage.


Nickie had been acting strange since their father’s death. First he left his job then just decided to go overseas. But could not get the visa, so was left with nothing. He would not work or even help out at home. Nickie was 29 years old, it was about time he started taking some responsibility. The whole family was badly shaken after their parents’ death in a car accident a year ago. But that did not mean they could just sit and mope. Sarah had a family of six siblings, four girls and two boys. The three sisters were married and she lived with her brothers- Nickie and Angelo. Angelo was 15 yrs. old and still in school. Sarah was the eldest sibling so the job of running the household fell on her. She had been feeling very tired and exhausted lately.

Sarah and her sisters had tried to support Nickie by encouraging him to try for other jobs but he would not even make the effort to go and meet someone. He was a quiet person, just busy with his computer or watching TV . He also did not have any friends.

“ Get up will you!. Can’t you even shut the TV off when you are sleeping. You have to start caring, we have to pay bills you know.” That’s all the energy Sarah had to tell Nickie off. Then she went to change muttering to myself. The most infurious thing was that he didn’t even budge from the couch, just raised his head for a minute then went back to sleep. Sarah knew it was futile saying anything to him, so just went into the kitchen to prepare a meal for herself and her brothers.

Life just went on at this pace for a while, there were small moments of joy when one of the sisters visited with their kids. Generally they were a close knit family, caring and supportive. The trauma of parent’s death had affected everyone badly but they were being brave and trying to move on, or at least some of them were. All Sarah can remember from those days, is the feeling of exhaustion, mostly emotional. Life carried on in the usual fashion, Sarah was too pre-occupied with her job and home chores. Angelo was busy with school and Nickie was just temperamental. Some days he would be fine and other times gloomy. But other than that he didn’t really trouble anyone, just kept himself busy with his own thoughts and activities.

After a few months, they noticed a change in Nickie’s mood. He was very happy, making plans and buying stuff for home. Suddenly he also started showing concern for his sister, saying she get too tired and they should hire a maid to do the housework. Sarah asked him what he was up to. Did he win a lottery or something? And he just smiled saying he got a good job. He was not very communicative. As always Sarah was just too tired to pursue further and thought it was good that he is at least feeling positive.

Maybe if she had not been dealing with the grief and burden of responsibilities, she may have looked further and seen through him. But unfortunately she was also a very trusting person and usually just took things at face value.

The positive mood did not last long. It may have, if Sarah had not discovered that some jewellery was missing. The phone call from the family jeweller came as a real shock and a rude wake up call. Nickie had been selling off some heirlooms. Since the family had good terms with them, the jeweller called to just check if Sarah knew what was happening. She could not believe it at first. But the truth was the cheerfulness was actually because of some pieces of jewellery Nickie had found at home. Sarah felt did not have the strength to confront him on her own. She was too distraught and decided to consult other family members and Nickie was exposed. But that was the day when he also showed a very different side of himself for the first time. He became nasty and revengeful. He was so good at manipulating everyone that the focus turned on Sarah.

Yes, even though he had been caught red handed he turned the tables by accusing her of plundering money. Not taking care of him or the house and using what she earned for her own frivolities. This is when Sarah’s brother became her enemy.

What followed was a whole year of torment and persecution, till they finally broke away.

To be continued.

Random thoughts on being a writer

I have been told that I have a talent for writing and am good at expressing myself. Personally, I just enjoy writing, but I really wish I could be more disciplined. For many years, I have wanted to compile my own book of short stories. God knows life is full of sensational stuff, much more than what you see on TV. But I have not been able to really discipline myself and actually take this project seriously, although it is something so close to my heart. I tell myself I am a moody writer, sometimes the words just flow and I get inspired, while many times I just shut myself up...even to myself.


Hmmm ..interesting thought, I didn’t realize this happens to me. You see writing is quite liberating for me and it has helped me in my worst phases to clarify my thoughts and be honest about my feelings. I started this blog with the view to pen down my thoughts as they came, but have not been able to fully use that. You must be wondering why I am telling you this. For one thing I think I need some motivation and a push in this regard. So I hope some of you will give me that.

Also by writing this down, I am actually admitting to myself that I am not on track and I have to start doing something if I ever want to realize my dream of being a published story teller.

Now that I am done with my rambling, I decided to write my first story. This is a true experience based on my observations. Do tell me what you think.

To trust or not to trust?

This is a dilemma faced by almost everyone at some stage in their lives. If only there was some kind of instrument like a baramoter that could gauge the sincerity level in a person and one could adjust their trust meter accordingly...

Science tells us that each one of us has a natural instinct for survival, we can smell the danger or maybe feel it in the pit of our stomach. Some people even have symbolic dreams warning them of danger.

Alternatively, faith tells us to keep on believing in God and in our heart... for He is present in all pure hearts. So we start that first step towards trust and learn to let go. Shunning our doubts and taking that giant leap of faith, because it feels so ' good' 'just right'. For those who are lucky to have their trust honoured it is a re-affirmation of the world's beauty, the power of their heart and faith.

There are others who after a while feel like thunder has struck them and their self esteem and faith all comes crashing down. Where did I go wrong? What happened? They keep on hearing this broken record in their heads. Sometimes paralysed for life, unable to recover or at the least being cynical of every new encounter.

Is this fair? Why is it like that with some people? Are they too trusting or are they stupid? Or are they simply the unfortunate ones who have been cheated and robbed of their innocence. People say such people can hear the alarm bells but they choose to be oblivious and this is why they get hurt. They have ignored the signs and so they must pay the price.

To trust or not to trust? Is it really that simple to discern?

Why Muslims don't eat pork